Our beloved Vancouver hockey team, the Canucks are one win away from the Stanley Cup finals (the good isht). Winnie’s Superfries puts things into perspective.

I’m probably my Dad’s last choice to share his Canucks tickets with. I always make a bigger deal about getting my White Spot combo than I do the first period. I almost always accidentally kick over my beer under the chair, making a little foamy waterfall that drips down to the next row then innocently look around and blame the person next to me. I also think it’s hilarious to pretend the Sedin’s talk like dolphins to each other and can hear thoughts telepathically with their foreheads.

I’ve always hated competition in most forms. When I was little and forced to participate in a scavenger hunt I would make my own list that usually comprised of “sand, a hair tie, and hugs” and avoid the actual competitive game altogether. I also remember my Dad and Brother’s brutal disappointment when year after year, the Canucks didn’t win and everyone was sad. After the 94’ loss, and the awesome/terrible rioting that destroyed many a Starbucks window, I thought perhaps being a hockey fan sucks, It’s super disappointing and I never felt as good after watching a hockey game as I did after watching a brand new Young Hercules episode.

So years later I was shocked when I found myself super excited during the final in the Vancouver Olympics. There were moving car high-fives, chants, face paint, drinking in alleys, and I pretty much got the week off work. We should do that again. That was pretty fun.

I tried watching the first game in the San Jose series on Granville Street, but found myself unwelcome at a certain bar, and a subsequent Pizza place, who’s patrons and staff didn’t appreciate the festive tones of my official Canucks Vuvuzilla. So for lack of another option I’ll be watching tonight’s game at home, which is beneficial in some ways as I can program my epic hockey playlist and control the button on my fog machine.

The Immortals – Techno Syndrome (Mortal Kombat)

Although I’m comforted by the fact I can select the “Mortal Kombat” song when there’s a power play, I miss DJ Dave, the official Canucks DJ. I’ve been mildly obsessed with him since I came across his blog, where he posts his game playlists, and musings on his day job of being Elvis Costello’s Tour Co-coordinator.

When D.J Dave’s not chilling with Elvis he’s sitting in his little omniscient god booth blasting Cotton Eye Joe or whatever the fuck he feels like playing to close to 20,000 people. He chooses some terrible songs sometimes, with such gems as Madonna’s “Ray of Light,” most of his warm up tracks could be selected from my Tarzan Dan Hot Ten at 10 mix tapes I used to record between my “put your headgear on” time and lights-out time when I was 12.

The Canucks official Intro song personally offends me. They skate out to U2. That’s not scary. That’s not skating out of a plume of fog from a sharks jaw.

But there is hope. DJ Dave takes requests. And he also names “Pump it Up” as one of his favorite songs. Jock Jams for life. I want to hear anthems for pleasant riots, ones that involve hugging strangers and getting beat up for being really excited about my vuvuzilla.

Get your songs played during a Canucks home game by tweeting during the game to @canucksdjdave

-SuperFries